Trillium Springs Counseling - I believe that clients have the capacity to lead their own healing.
RSS

Recent Posts

Impact of Family on Self-concept
Anger Management- What it is- What its not
Negative Self-talk
Frustration and Anger
Anger and Insecurity

Categories

Anger
Depression
divorce
Goals
Insecurity
Retirement
Self-acceptance
Women's Equality

Archives

August 2017
September 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
October 2015
November 2014
October 2014
July 2014

powered by

My Blog

Impact of Family on Self-concept

Most of us have heard that as adults we shouldn't blame our parents for our upbringing. After all, we want to be  mature and responsible and blaming keeps us stuck. That is good advice. But what if your childhood was marked by shame or blame or belittling. Or maybe you were beaten or sexually assaulted by a very sick parent. Do you think you can just suck it up and put it away like an old family album? There may be some really nasty pictures in your "family album" that show up when you least expect it.

Anger Management- What it is- What its not

Anger management is not a form of suppression where a person holds in his or her anger. That causes ulcers and heart attacks and makes the people you are angry with either more angry because they can see through your "being good" behavior or they just keep doing what they've  always done to make you angry in the first place.

Anger management is also not a way of manipulating your enemies so that you get what you want in the end. That's why its called "anger management" instead of "people management".

Negative Self-talk

What is negative self-talk? Any time that you scold yourself about something you did or said, you are using negative self-talk. When you do it to yourself, it feels so bad and it can ruin your day. It also promotes low self-esteem and makes you physically sick. 
   Here's a method I have used that really promotes instant relief:

1. Reaction: You find yourself thinking of something you did that was stupid. (in your opinion).

2. Realization: Here I go again with self-blaming!

Frustration and Anger

What makes us so frustrated and angry in relationships? What pushes our button and makes us unwilling to see our part we are playing in our fights before we blow up at our significant other? It is often the unseen and unexpressed old messages we are hearing from our parents  such as "You are a loser and you are being taken advantage of " or simply  "You need to win this argument in any way you can."

Whatever the case may be our messages to ourselves are very often filled with directives to act now or else.

Anger and Insecurity

Why is it that so many couples get stuck in a downward spiral of suspicion and anger?    My contention is that we get caught up in wanting our significant other to meet our needs. But ask yourself this question. Can you, and do you have the desire to, meet  all the needs of your loved one ? I believe that it would be an insurmountable and frustrating task that you would ultimately give up in frustration. 

Each of us is responsible for our own well-being. There is no such thing as a free ride on the back of someone else's life.

Depression and Anger

What do depression and anger have in common? Actually, it is almost impossible to have one without the other. Depression is often caused by negative thoughts that you have about others or yourself. You may feel no control over the way your life is going and instead of using your anger to push yourself forward finding solutions to your dilemma you make a conscious or unconscious decision to give up on trying to make your situation better. Thus you spiral into depressive thoughts and actions.

Anger Management

Anger can be a debilitating problem or just an indication that something needs to be addressed. If you have an anger issue what you do about it makes all the difference. Have you heard of the Serenity Prayer that is used in Alcoholics Anonymous and other such meetings? It goes like this: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to  know the difference."

Everyone has anger issues. Anger is a normal part of life.

Women

What is the difference between women's equality 40 year's ago and the present? Yes, we are able to pursue any career we desire. Yes, men are assuming more responsibility for childcare. Yes, most women aspire to some kind of career or occupation more than they look for a marriage partner. 

On the other hand, anorexia nervosa (an eating disorder that may cause death from starvation and malnutrition) is higher than ever. 8 million Americans, 90% of them are young women, have this disorder.

Hope

Everyone needs hope these days. We all hope that isis is defeated and that we don't lose our freedom. We all hope that we can get a handle on global warming before our planet is destroyed. But what about the daily life we all experience? Are we consumed with world problems so much that we have no room for joy? 
Spontaneous feelings of pleasure and happiness seem to happen when we are feeling good about ourselves and our choices. That inner peace is priceless, but it can't be obtained by any other means than self-knowledge and self-acceptance.

Depression

What is depression? 

It is lethargy; a feeling of not OK. You have angry feelings towards others and yourself but you don't know where to go or what to do about these feelings. They linger around like a bad cold sapping your energy and drive. 

You might be in a place where there is no one who understands or cares what you are feeling. Maybe you don't know how to express your thoughts. They may be all jumbled up inside your head like a cobweb and you feel like the bug who is trapped.
Website Builder provided by  Vistaprint