Trillium Springs Counseling - I believe that clients have the capacity to lead their own healing.
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Women in Bars
Sexual Harassment
Codependency
Impact of Family on Self-concept
Anger Management- What it is- What its not

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Women in Bars

One of my clients that I used to see complained about being propositioned for sex when she went to a local bar for a drink. 
Some people would say that she should not go to a bar because men would automatically think she wanted sex. 
Think about that statement and analyze it. This is the natural way of thinking, but is it justified? Should women stay away from bars because men may accost them? 
I totally disagree with that mentality. In my opinion a woman has every right to be respected wherever she may decide to go and a man shouldn’t automatically assume that she wants sex because she is sitting at a bar.

Sexual Harassment

I think there has been an awakening lately from women who have had enough sexual harassment and outright sexual abuse from men in power. The latest target is Harvey Weinstein, the famous American film producer who is being investigated for such treatment of women over many years. 

Ashley Judd, the  movie star and political activist, was one of his victims. He asked her to a breakfast which she assumed was a business meeting. But he showed up to see her in his bathrobe and asked her to let him give her a massage or watch him shower.

Codependency

In regards to women, unhealthy helping and giving can arise from behaviors and traits that are culturally approved and encouraged for women. Females are expected to put others first and to be nice and considerate. Traditional feminine roles such as wife, mother, daughter (and daughter-in-law), direct women to take care of other people, make other people’s lives easier by doing things for them, and to care for those that are dependent (providing what is called care labor). Caring for others, and accommodating others, in and outside of the home, is often designated as women’s work and selfless service to others is sold to many of us as a defining feature of the good woman.

Impact of Family on Self-concept

Most of us have heard that as adults we shouldn't blame our parents for our upbringing. After all, we want to be  mature and responsible and blaming keeps us stuck. That is good advice. But what if your childhood was marked by shame or blame or belittling. Or maybe you were beaten or sexually assaulted by a very sick parent. Do you think you can just suck it up and put it away like an old family album? There may be some really nasty pictures in your "family album" that show up when you least expect it.

Anger Management- What it is- What its not

Anger management is not a form of suppression where a person holds in his or her anger. That causes ulcers and heart attacks and makes the people you are angry with either more angry because they can see through your "being good" behavior or they just keep doing what they've  always done to make you angry in the first place.

Anger management is also not a way of manipulating your enemies so that you get what you want in the end. That's why its called "anger management" instead of "people management".

Negative Self-talk

What is negative self-talk? Any time that you scold yourself about something you did or said, you are using negative self-talk. When you do it to yourself, it feels so bad and it can ruin your day. It also promotes low self-esteem and makes you physically sick. 
   Here's a method I have used that really promotes instant relief:

1. Reaction: You find yourself thinking of something you did that was stupid. (in your opinion).

2. Realization: Here I go again with self-blaming!

Frustration and Anger

What makes us so frustrated and angry in relationships? What pushes our button and makes us unwilling to see our part we are playing in our fights before we blow up at our significant other? It is often the unseen and unexpressed old messages we are hearing from our parents  such as "You are a loser and you are being taken advantage of " or simply  "You need to win this argument in any way you can."

Whatever the case may be our messages to ourselves are very often filled with directives to act now or else.

Anger and Insecurity

Why is it that so many couples get stuck in a downward spiral of suspicion and anger?    My contention is that we get caught up in wanting our significant other to meet our needs. But ask yourself this question. Can you, and do you have the desire to, meet  all the needs of your loved one ? I believe that it would be an insurmountable and frustrating task that you would ultimately give up in frustration. 

Each of us is responsible for our own well-being. There is no such thing as a free ride on the back of someone else's life.

Depression and Anger

What do depression and anger have in common? Actually, it is almost impossible to have one without the other. Depression is often caused by negative thoughts that you have about others or yourself. You may feel no control over the way your life is going and instead of using your anger to push yourself forward finding solutions to your dilemma you make a conscious or unconscious decision to give up on trying to make your situation better. Thus you spiral into depressive thoughts and actions.

Anger Management

Anger can be a debilitating problem or just an indication that something needs to be addressed. If you have an anger issue what you do about it makes all the difference. Have you heard of the Serenity Prayer that is used in Alcoholics Anonymous and other such meetings? It goes like this: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to  know the difference."

Everyone has anger issues. Anger is a normal part of life.
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