Anger can be a debilitating problem or just an indication that something needs to be addressed. If you have an anger issue what you do about it makes all the difference. Have you heard of the Serenity Prayer that is used in Alcoholics Anonymous and other such meetings? It goes like this: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
Everyone has anger issues. Anger is a normal part of life. But when you go into a rage or become depressed, it is time to figure out another way of dealing with it.
Try these steps and see if using them makes a difference:
1. Pause before action.
2. Before spewing your guts, take a deep breath and get in touch with your feelings. What is behind the anger? Are you really hurt by someone's actions? Do you feel that no one understands you? There are many feelings that come out as anger that get buried because it is easier to be angry than hurt or fearful. It is harder to admit these feelings.
3. Get in touch with your needs that are not being met. Figure out if your needs are legitimate and then work on stating your needs in a calm way by starting with "I need".
4. If it is road rage then your acceptance is the only alternative. You can rage all you want to, but all it will do is make you or the person next to you more miserable. Try focusing on a song on the radio or call someone, or just look outside for something calming to look at like a tree or a bird.
5. Sometimes our anger and fears get the best of us and we become tightly wrapped up in a cocoon of despair and bitterness. This might be a time to find a mental health counselor or a therapist. These guys are trained to help you get unstuck.
6. Anyone can use the Serenity Prayer. If you are not a Christian just restate it to your liking, but there is some wisdom in the saying. There is no reason to stew in a porridge full of helpless rage. There is definitely a way out for you if you are courageous enough to make some changes in the way you deal with anger.